Walking Through (and On) the Impossible

*Before reading this devotional, please read Matthew 14:22-36

Most days I can barely keep my head above water. As laundry, dishes, social commitments and work responsibilities pile up, the sensation of drowning increases. How can I be a godly wife, mother, daughter, friend, employee and neighbor when I can't even remember to eat lunch? Yet here we read that Jesus (and Peter) not only kept their heads above water, but their entire bodies!! How?


The quick -- and accurate -- answer is Faith (vs. 31). But I am drawn to the verses earlier in the chapter that discuss all the stresses Jesus had experienced that same day. Jesus learned that John the Baptist had been beheaded and instead of getting to grieve for his cousin, he is followed by a crowd of at least 5,000 people. Matthew says, "He had compassion on them and healed their sick," (vs. 14) and then provides them with a plentiful supper out of 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread. His experiences of the day should have left him physically exhausted, spiritually drained and emotionally grieved. How then could he walk on water?

How can I walk on water?


I think verse 23 has my answer. Jesus "went up on a mountainside by himself to pray." He found a place, free of distractions, where he could talk to his Father. What better way to get faith strong enough to walk on water than to spend time with God? After all, as we learned as children, God made the water He helps us walk on (Genesis 1:9,10)!



I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:12,13

God is love!

Happy Valentines Day!

Today we did not make it to church and so we had our own Sunday school together as a family. We studied...you guessed it...love. We talked about loving our neighbors and family, animals, and most importantly God. It is very easy to get wrapped up in the concept of love and forgetting the most important thing of all..."that God so loved the world that He gave His only Son" John 3:16

I feel it is so important to impart to my kids how much God loves us, and how much we need to love others in return and yet I get still side tracked by silly holidays myself. That is why I am so grateful that Valentines Day fell on "church day" as Leah calls it, so we could have yet another reminder of Gods love!

Today we went to Dollar General to let the kids pick out one treat. After deliberating and picking up numerous things, only to find something else and pick it instead, they finally decided on their treats. We went to stand in the very long line to checkout and both kids were commenting on the balloons. The lady behind us had struck up a conversation with us and out of no where she whips out 2 dollars and gives one to each kid so they could pick out a balloon! What a perfect real world example of loving our neighbors as we love ourselves. Holding back tears I thanked the stranger and Leah looked at her and said "Love God with all your might" her attempt at our memory verse for the week!

This week we should strive to remember all of the ways God loves us and show those to our neighbors!

"We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him." 1 John 4:16

"Love is patient, love is kind and it is not jealous...Love never fails...the greatest of these is love." 1 Cor 13 4-13

"You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself..." Lev 19:18

Love is waiting...

I had a brief “God moment” in the car a few days ago. Brooke Fraser, one of my favorite Christian artists, was singing about love, and I was lamenting my lack of it (in the romantic sense). I sang along with the lyrics, allowing a selfish sadness to creep into my voice and my spirit as I harmonized with Brooke:

I’ll be waiting for you, baby

I’ll be holding back the darkest night

Love is waiting ‘til we’re ready

‘Til it’s right

Love is waiting

“Love is waiting…” Well, Brooke, waiting is hard. Frustrating, even. Full of distractions. Burdensome. Confusing. Painful. And, in my humanness, especially now, waiting is all of those things x 10. And I don’t feel like it. So there.

But I kept singing, as I’m wont to do when things hurt, and suddenly, it occurred to me what was coming out of my mouth: LOVE is waiting. Not “like,” or “good enough” or “right now.” LOVE. God’s best. Ordained, in His timing, meant-to-be, full of blessings, moving toward holiness – not happiness, two-shall-become-one LOVE is WAITING.

And you know what that makes love? Patient. And kind. Not envious or boastful. Not proud. Not rude or self-seeking or easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always PERSEVERES. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Love is WAITING. And if love - that which God is and exudes - is patient, then surely He in His perfection is worth waiting FOR, whatever our hearts’ desire. We, as Christ-followers, wait not for a husband, or a job, or a house, or anything tangible but for the LORD…for His confidence, His assurance, and His perfect peace.

That God would be so sweet to remind me what true love looks like – and that the wait is worth it – did much to soothe my tender spirit that night and in the days since then. What started out as a self-induced pity party on my drive home became a supernatural revelation through the Holy Spirit that God has already defined love. Indeed, He has demonstrated real love in its purest, truest form (John 3:16). So I need not worry about earthly companionship or the fulfillment of my selfish wants, however justified. My Creator in Heaven knows what I need before I even ask Him (Matthew 6:8) and has promised a hope and a future in Him (Jeremiah 29:11).

LOVE is patient. Always hopes. Always perseveres. Love never fails.

~

Romans 8:24-25 ~ Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

Romans 5:3-4 ~ Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Sprit, whom He has given us.

Romans 12:12 ~ Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

2 Peter 3:9 ~ The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you…

Psalm 130:5-6 ~ I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning.

~

MLH

Follow-Up on Rejoice, I Say!

So, Christmas came and went, and believe it or not, things went better than I ever dreamed they could. It went so well, in fact, that I'd actually deem it a miracle. No joke.

God's love flowed through me this Christmas—and I could feel it especially when I knew that without Him, I'd have felt angry, upset, or bothered. I could not have done it without Him, and if anyone could have been in my shoes throughout the entirety of this struggle, there's no way that they would not believe in Him and the power of His love.

Unfortunately, those who still seek the truth can't fit in my shoes to see the proof. However, maybe those who saw me (and, perhaps, those who put me) in my "shoes" could still see enough of it to light the spark for them. (One can hope.)

Clear as mud? I'm purposely not getting horribly specific here, but I wanted to share that things went quite well.

God is love! -- Merry Christmas!

This is the rough draft for a talk I gave at my church's women's Christmas brunch....

Merry Christmas!
We are coming together today to celebrate one of the most important holidays in the year.

I brought a prop. This is my son, Logan. He is 1 month and 1 day old. I love him. I am so pleased with him. He is so cute, you should pay attention to him. Or should I say, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!" Matthew 17:5. God loved his son so much more than I love my own.

I am not one taken to an overpowering, immediate love for my children when they are born. It may be different for other women, but I begin loving my child the minute it becomes a part of me and this love grows over time. The Bible says "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was with God in the beginning. (John 1:1-2) God is love. 1 John 4:16 Any inkling of love that I feel for my children, pales in comparison to the love God has for his son. Yet, as much as God loved Jesus, he gave him up for us. Because he loved us. (For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[a] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16)
God could have sent Jesus as an adult with a flaming sword and a host of heavenly warriors behind him. He could have sent him as a child to the most well-to-do family in the world. Arrayed him in splendor and given him worldly wealth. But The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. (John 1:14) God came to live among us, not above us. He came for me, a sinner. And how do you reach a sinner? You love them.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! 1 John 3:1 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13children born not of natural descent,[c] nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God. John 1:12-13

I love that every year I read the Christmas story, I find some new detail that evidences God's love....and divinity. This year it had to do with Mary. Mary and Joseph were betrothed -- It's in between engaged and married. Even though they weren't married, yet, the only way they could break off their relationship once they were engaged was to get divorced. Let's see if I can explain how perfectly God provided for this little family. Mary became pregnant while she was still a virgin. God could have sent Jesus before Joseph had ever even heard of Mary. Sure, she would have been a single mom, but maybe she would just raise Jesus in the home of her parents. Or what if she and Joseph were already married with three children? Then the prophecy would not have been fulfilled (Therefore the Lord himself will give you [a] a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and [b] will call him Immanuel. Isaiah 7:14)

Now what do we do with this?? God is love. He loves His children. and any of us who believe that Jesus is God's son, that he came to save us, we get to be called children of God as well.
We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19. God calls his children to walk in love. A pharisee asked Jesus what the greatest commandment is and Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'[b] 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[c] 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22:37-40
This Christmas season, walk in love (2 John 1:6) for this is the true reason we have Christmas. It was God's greatest gift to us and it can be the greatest gift we give to others.

Rejoice, I Say!

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"
– Philippians 4:4


"Praise God!"

Recently, I have been reminded that in this life, I cannot "roll with the punches" on my own. Things have been interesting for me lately, in regard to family (in more places than just one, but I'm more focused on one particular relationship in this post). I won't go into detail about that, but I will say that a good friend of mine (Brenda) once said to me, "there's a reason you can't choose your family: some people just wouldn't get picked."

Yesterday, I had one of those amazing experiences (which happens quite often, actually) where I was in church, and the sermon satiated my thirst for an answer to many, many prayers that I've spoken over the last year (and mostly in the last week).

I was reminded that I am blessed to be able to have conflict with my family. Before you go and write me off as being nutty, let me attempt to explain myself.

Not all conflict is black and white and easy to resolve. In fact, sometimes, it is impossible to fix whatever the issue is that may have caused the conflict in the first place (sometimes, you may run into someone who believes that the events that occurred are a completely different reality to them than to what actually occurred). But, how we choose to look at it, and how we choose to handle it (with the help of God) can bring peace, civility, and even forgiveness to a seemingly impossible relationship. And, heck, even over time, maybe that relationship can grow into something beautiful again. (Who knows?)

In the meantime, though, we can be reminded that it is beautiful that we can feel this hurt. Pain, sorrow, and all of the absolutely dreadful things of the like are part of what makes this life worth living. If we didn't have horrible, nasty junk to deal with now and then, it would not be so special when things are going so well.

This Christmas, while part of me is nervous to have to work so hard on myself for some relationships, I am more thrilled than ever to be alive and to be working this hard to do God's will. I have the opportunity to do it. I also feel completely thrilled (we're talking giddy, schoolgirl status) to have the opportunity to share it all with my budding, little family.

One might look at this post and think, "Oh. Okay. So, Jenny thrives on drama, then."

That couldn't be further from the truth. I am the most anti-dramalicious person you'll ever meet. Part of me thinks that God allows it into my life because he knows that it's a serious challenge for me. Sometimes, though, I think it's from the stinkin' devil, and if I'm not careful, it could really suck me over into the dark side. Now, for once, I have armed myself appropriately, and I can now look at it with a smirk on my face and say, "Bring it on. Bring. It. On."

I'm ready. Let's do this.

Merry Christmas!

Learning about Loneliness...

I think God leaves me alone to let me find my own strength
because no one else can give it to me.
Sometimes it is very lonely.
But I know the lonely times teach me the most.
I must let go in order to let anything in.
No one can love me, for me.

~ Sabrina Ward Harrison

I am learning. I think we are all learning as we go through life - learning about ourselves, learning about our spouses, learning about life and how to live it honestly and fully in each and every moment.

All you stay-at-home moms can relate with this - you just get lonely when your husband is gone. Whether it be a normal 8-hour work day or a week-long business trip, it's tough to get through the day without your partner. And yes, there are little ones at home to keep you company, yet it's times when you are alone with them when it's hard to look past parenthood as a chore and see it as a gift. And in those times, I can honestly say I yearn for the days when it was just me...just me and my work without anyone to answer to, without any responsibilities beyond myself.

Now how selfish does that sound???? REALLY?! As much as I didn't really see myself as that typical stay-at-home mom, I have assumed that role. And I do try to make time for my creative side and have a successful side business that is going extremely well. Yet WHY do I always desire more? Even when I was just by myself, I was STILL lonely and desired, what else...companionship and the sound of cooing babies and pattering feet.

Lonely moments do teach me the most. Sometimes it is simply a moment in reflection. Sometimes it is a quick tearful release. One thing that loneliness has taught me is that sometimes we need to just let go. By giving up control and by loosening the tight grip we have around our lives, our blessings are revealed in the most unusual ways. It is the little grins from my 3-month-old at 2 am that get me through the night. It is the hugs around my legs from my 2-year-old that get me through the mornings. It is the text messages that my husband sends me before his planes take off that get me through the afternoons.

And though I feel lonely, I know that I am never really by myself. There is more that lives within me than just myself, and it is the moments of chaos and the moments of quiet where I can touch the One that is beyond me and bigger than me. And I realize that lonely times really do teach me the most.