"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"Recently, I have been reminded that in this life, I cannot "roll with the punches" on my own. Things have been interesting for me lately, in regard to family (in more places than just one, but I'm more focused on one particular relationship in this post). I won't go into detail about that, but I will say that a good friend of mine (Brenda) once said to me, "there's a reason you can't choose your family: some people just wouldn't get picked."
– Philippians 4:4
– Philippians 4:4
Yesterday, I had one of those amazing experiences (which happens quite often, actually) where I was in church, and the sermon satiated my thirst for an answer to many, many prayers that I've spoken over the last year (and mostly in the last week).
I was reminded that I am blessed to be able to have conflict with my family. Before you go and write me off as being nutty, let me attempt to explain myself.
Not all conflict is black and white and easy to resolve. In fact, sometimes, it is impossible to fix whatever the issue is that may have caused the conflict in the first place (sometimes, you may run into someone who believes that the events that occurred are a completely different reality to them than to what actually occurred). But, how we choose to look at it, and how we choose to handle it (with the help of God) can bring peace, civility, and even forgiveness to a seemingly impossible relationship. And, heck, even over time, maybe that relationship can grow into something beautiful again. (Who knows?)
In the meantime, though, we can be reminded that it is beautiful that we can feel this hurt. Pain, sorrow, and all of the absolutely dreadful things of the like are part of what makes this life worth living. If we didn't have horrible, nasty junk to deal with now and then, it would not be so special when things are going so well.
This Christmas, while part of me is nervous to have to work so hard on myself for some relationships, I am more thrilled than ever to be alive and to be working this hard to do God's will. I have the opportunity to do it. I also feel completely thrilled (we're talking giddy, schoolgirl status) to have the opportunity to share it all with my budding, little family.
One might look at this post and think, "Oh. Okay. So, Jenny thrives on drama, then."
That couldn't be further from the truth. I am the most anti-dramalicious person you'll ever meet. Part of me thinks that God allows it into my life because he knows that it's a serious challenge for me. Sometimes, though, I think it's from the stinkin' devil, and if I'm not careful, it could really suck me over into the dark side. Now, for once, I have armed myself appropriately, and I can now look at it with a smirk on my face and say, "Bring it on. Bring. It. On."
I'm ready. Let's do this.